


Indulgence

by sanctuary_for_all



Series: Partners [40]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Feels, M/M, Supportive Spouses, Weight gain as a sign of happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:07:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29306226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctuary_for_all/pseuds/sanctuary_for_all
Summary: For a long time, Steve didn't really understand indulgence.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Series: Partners [40]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/105629
Comments: 18
Kudos: 238





	Indulgence

For a long time, Steve didn't really understand indulgence.

When he was a kid, it meant an extra helping at dinner or a candy bar from the grocery store. It only happened on his parents' sufferance, their brows lowered as if trying to decide whether he'd earned it that day. When he started playing football the evaluation step disappeared, because football players were supposed to eat healthy and anything that was indulgent was also bad for you. Mary still occasionally snuck him a cookie, but Steve never reached for one himself. He wanted to be good, to do what he was supposed to do.

Then the world ended, and the meaning of "indulgence" changed again. The word became a label that got put on everything soft and good, anything that took your focus away from your classes and training for even a second. Grief was indulgent. Feelings were indulgent.

And now, indulgent things were more than unhealthy, they were shameful. They were wrong. Indulging meant people and your country would be put at risk. You shouldn't have to be reprimanded for indulgence – you should stop yourself from even wanting it in the first place.

When Steve went on active duty, things became slightly more complicated. There was still no indulgence, not really, but release was allowed. The blur of alcohol on carefully allotted weekends. The warmth of another body when you couldn't admit how desperate you were for simple human touch. The chance to forget everything you'd survived, or at least pretending to, became your reward for surviving in the first place.

And then he met Danny. The loud, incredibly opinionated New Jersey transplant wasn't actually all that indulgent a person, but Danny was always so _much_ he somehow felt like he was. He was a whirlwind who just happened to look like a person, a constant storm of _feelings_ that could pivot from indignant fury to open-hearted generosity in the blink of an eye. He believed wholeheartedly in food ("real food, Steven, not grass"), ranting endlessly about his feelings, and always being there for Steve no matter how many times he complained.

Just being next to Danny felt more indulgent than any cookie or night at a bar Steve had ever experienced. It made him feel so _warm_ , even with all the constant complaining, and something inside Steve stretched lazily in a way he never really had before. It was probably just as dangerous as any indulgence he'd been warned away from over the years – he wouldn't get to keep Danny, and forgetting that had the potential to kill him – but the willpower he'd relied on for so many years could only do so much.

Then he found out Danny loved him back, and Steve realized he'd never really understood indulgence at all.

000

These days, Steve mostly woke up early just so he could spend more time lingering in bed. He still managed to squeeze in a run when he could – morning swims almost never happened anymore, because they took way to long – but he always made sure to spend at least five or 10 minutes just appreciating the feeling of being snuggled up next to Danny. If Danny woke up while this was happening, the run was immediately abandoned to stretch out his touching Danny time as much as possible.

(More often than not, they got some morning exercise in anyway. It wasn't nearly as strenuous as running, but it was _so_ much more enjoyable.)

That morning, he'd nearly fallen asleep again enjoying the feel of Danny tracing lazy fingers across his stomach. "You're getting a little bit of a belly," Danny murmured, sounding deeply satisfied with the universe as a whole as he followed the gentle curve. "There's still plenty of muscle underneath, but there's a nice layer of softness here on top."

Steve cracked an eye open, lips curving a little. "This isn't a roundabout way of telling me I should exercise more, is it?"

"Don't you dare." Danny pushed up on his elbow just enough to glare down at him. "I count every morning you don't go exercise as a personal victory."

Steve's smile widened. "I think you're winning this week."

Danny's expression turned deeply, delightedly smug as he leaned down to steal a kiss. "I know." When he pulled away again, his expression softened. "I like the belly. It means I'm taking care of you properly."

Steve's chest tightened as he reached up to brush a lock of hair back from Danny's face. "More wisdom from your grandmother?"

"Both my grandmothers were very big on expressing their love by feeding people. I just liked the Italian food more than I did the Irish." He settled his head back against Steve's shoulder, hand once again finding its way to Steve's stomach. "I loved the woman, but corned beef and cabbage isn't a fair thing to do to anyone."

Steve's fingers threaded back through the softness of Danny's hair, everything inside him warm. "I think Joe would disagree with you."

"Joe is wrong about many things." Danny shifted enough to press a kiss against Steve's skin, voice taking on a solemn edge. "But I don't just mean the food. I like the fact that you're getting used to having nice things in your life. A little softness around your midsection is proof you're letting yourself sit back and enjoy them."

Steve's throat closed up. "That I'm letting myself indulge a little."

"Exactly." Danny's voice was starting to take on a sleepy, relaxed edge. "You haven't had nearly enough of that in your life."

Not for the first time, Steve thought about all the younger versions of himself who had struggled and bled to get him to this point. Not one of them could have imagined a life where everything he'd ever wanted would always be without arms reach. That all he would have to do is stretch out his hand and it would come into his arms, never asking whether or not he'd earned it. That it would snuggle close, like there was no place else it would rather be.

He pressed his lips against Danny's hair, impossibly grateful. "You give me everything," he whispered. "You _are_ everything. What kind of idiot would I have to be not to cherish every second of that?"

Danny let out an unsteady breath, pushing himself back on his elbow. "That was cheating." His voice was thick, eyes fragile in the way that always meant he'd be crying if he was anyone else. But they were also shining, bright and beautiful in a way that made Steve's chest hurt. "You have to give me some kind of warning if you're going to say romantic shit like that."

Steve reached up to cradle Danny's cheek, stroking his thumb gently over the curve. Compliments, it turned out, were the one thing Danny had never really been allowed to indulge in. "I didn't mean for it to be romantic," he murmured, his own voice thick. "It's just the truth."

Danny looked overwhelmed for a heartbeat, then dove down to another kiss. Together, they lost themselves in the sweetness they'd only ever found in each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Come check out my [original fiction,](https://jennifferwardell.wixsite.com/mybooks) my [blog,](http://jennifferwardell.blogspot.com) or say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://sanctuaryforalluniverses.tumblr.com)!


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